Friday, March 25, 2016

March 25- One month in and the internal renovation

Good afternoon all,

I have dragged my butt to the computer to post today because it is a very special day! I have made it a month! I have done this before but NEVER without cheating. I have done this with no cheats and a motivation and mindfullness that I was lacking before.
Her are the official one month photos!

And the "hide nothing " photos.

Ok so wow. yep those are pictures of me in my underwear.. on the internet. ok, I can live with this.

SO I do have something interesting to talk about today though, I had a real emotional crisis over my reflection today. I am sick to begin with and of course we are always a little emotional when we are sick but, even so...

SO I took my daughter out to buy shorts and a swim suit top today and I was for once not dreading going into the clothing store, I was thinking that there may be things I might actually feel ok wearing. But, when I was standing outside the change room waiting for her I caught my reflection from the side. I had terrible posture, I still looked so heavy , tummy poked out and pudgy arms peeking out from my shirt. Jeans sliding down my non existent bum to make the belly look even bigger.

I was devastated. I had been feeling so good on my one month day. It was a very hard thing for a few minutes but then it hit me. I didn't get here over night like we all say. It is not going to go away over night. I can imagine what that reflection would have been 30 days and almost 10 pounds ago. I know that I may be a slow loser due to the hormones I am on. I am feeling like a person I remember .

In the end I managed to talk myself out of eating a cinnamon bun from the bakery across the mall , bought the kiddo a really cute top and high waist shorts. I am looking forward now to what my 2 month results will be.

oh my god , the other thing driving me a little nuts are the hot flashes! I do not know if it is because of my hormones or just that i have stored estrogen in my fat and I am using it or just the keto flushing that I hear about but, every time I eat high fat food I am getting hot flashes for about an hour afterward.

I take it as my internal fire working, maybe just a ginger thing ! haha

Anyway I would call today bitter sweet, I feel I have made so much progress and my head is so much better. I have killed the carb and sugar cravings, I am working on conquering the emotional aspect of my food addiction. I have to stop and remember that so much of this is work on the inside and the body has to heal as it goes. It can hang on to the weight while it does and when its ready it will let go.
Keep calm and keto on as they say.

More later ,

Cheers and good eats my keto friends!


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